Wednesday, December 18, 2013

More abortion policies

UFI Alert: Where Do You Stand?

Aug 1, 2012
 From the Desk of Carol Soelberg:

It's a good thing I'm an optimist! Each week as I review the worldwide threats to the family I am amazed that the anti-family agenda just keeps chipping away at the only sure source of societal prosperity and peace - The Traditional Family!
What is their motive? Why destroy and replace the family? And even more important: Why are we so determined to protect and preserve it? Tom Christensen helps us see the WHOLE picture in his article this week. He lays out in 13 concise statements the principles behind the cultural war we are all fighting. Or are we? Where do YOU stand?
British writer G. K. Chesterton reminds us that, "Unless a man becomes the enemy of an evil, he will not even become its slave but rather its champion."If we aren't individually doing SOMETHING to battle the cultural war, we are indeed contributing to it! I invite you to read Mr. Christensen's article and then take a stand. Listed at the end are some specific things you can do today to champion the family cause. I believe you WILL get involved and that what you do will make all the difference!

Sincerely,
Carol Soelberg
President, United Families International 
 
Where Do You Stand? Linking the Pro-Family and Anti-Family Agendas

Tom Christensen
After attending my first UN conference and studying the opposing side's literature, I was astounded by the breadth of the opposition among UN delegates, non-governmental organizations (NGOs), and UN staff against policies seeking to preserve the basic family unit.
The traditional family is opposed by progressives, feminists, environmentalists, humanists, etc. who view the individual and the state rather than the family as the centerpiece of their illusive utopian dream. It does not matter to them that the traditional family is documented over history to be the "bedrock" or "fundamental unit" of civil society.
Any attempt today to promote the traditional family as the fundamental unit of society is met with intense opposition. The statist approach is to de-emphasize the traditional family and to marginalize it by costly cradle-to-grave government entitlements.
In order to fight and prevail in this policy and culture war, each point in defense of or opposition to the family must be clearly understood. The numerous supporting or opposing issues constitute a complex paradigm that must be considered as a whole. If issues are defended piecemeal, the opposition can outflank the enemy in its most vulnerable positions. For this reason, it is not enough to concentrate on a single issue such as protecting traditional marriage and to ignore, for example, the damage to the family and the nation caused by an expanding welfare state.
Likewise, because abortion is a divisive issue or as a colleague stated, "does not affect me personally," it is a mistake to avoid taking a stand on it. Some of the fiercest defenders of the family are "right to lifers." Moreover, protecting unborn life is critical to the family when one considers how millions of needless abortions threaten public health/morality and population/economic growth worldwide.
Some are uncomfortable defending virtue and religious freedom. However, religion is an indispensable support of the traditional family. In countries where religion is weak or under constant attack, the family struggles. At the UN, the Vatican, a permanent non-voting observer, is the leading proponent of the family. NGOs are needed to join the Vatican in protecting religious freedom, speech, and the family.
Recognizing the number of controversial issues at stake, I attempted a few years ago to write concise policy articles. In the process, I came to realize that for each pro-family policy article there is an equal, countervailing article. Linked together, these articles comprise the pro-family or anti-family agenda. Following are thirteen representative policy statements.
My hope is that you will read the individual articles, picture the larger paradigm, then decide for yourself where you stand. If you support the basic premises behind the pro-family agenda; I urge you to get with the program. Time is growing short. There are so many battles to be fought and elections to be won that you cannot afford to sit with your family on the sidelines waiting to see what happens. Join with United Families or other reputable organizations fighting together on the front lines. 

 Pro-Family paradigm v.s. Anti-Family paradigm:
1. The natural family, composed of a married husband and wife with biological or adopted children and extended family, is essential and sacred and must be encouraged by law. 
A. 
The rights of the individual prevail over the family. Traditional family roles, definitions and relations grounded in religion--must not be affirmed by law.
2. Marriage, a voluntary covenant between a man and a woman, deserves special legal status and protection. 
B. 
Marriage rights should be extended to unmarried and same sex couples.
3. The natural family is the seedbed of refined, resourceful, responsible, respectful adults. 
C. 
State programs provide the motivation, attributes and skills for individuals to succeed and pursue meaningful lives.
4. The natural family must be encouraged at the headwaters of civilization, promoting freedom, virtue, honor, industry, and order. 
D. 
The inherently dysfunctional family must be cut off at the source to prevent downstream pollution.
5. A unified father and mother are best equipped to satisfy a child's emotional physical, educational, and spiritual needs. 
E. 
Working mothers, sustained by state programs, are equal to a married father and mother.
6. Human beings are children of God, brothers and sisters in a large global family who must learn to love each other and work together. 
F. 
Humans, highest in the evolutionary food chain, threaten other forms of life unless selectively bred or terminated.
7. Birth is a blessing; an innocent human life is worth protecting. 
G. 
A child is often a liability; a mother's decision to destroy it a human right.
8. Expanding human populations are beneficial; the earth's resources are abundant.
H. 
The earth contains limited natural resources; expanding human populations ruin and deplete them.
9. Parents should be allowed educational options to train a child's mind and spirit. 
I. 
Public, secular education is the only option for the general population.
10. Parents have the duty and prior right to regulate their children's activities, speech, religious life, sexuality, health care, media access, social contacts and discipline. 
J. 
Children should be afforded rights the same as adults in matters of speech, association, and religion. The state decides what is in a child's best interest.
11. The state encourages family self-reliance by facilitating private property ownership, personal savings and retirement, family production and industry, continuing education, and home-care of the infirm. 
K. 
The state improves the human condition by redistributing wealth and funding entitlements: guaranteed income or employment, public housing, and subsidized child and health care.
12. National sovereignty and local home rule permits citizens and families to control their own laws, resources, and destinies. 
L. 
National government must give way to global government with power to tax, prosecute, and regulate.
13. Limited, representative, constitutional, balanced government of the people is best. 
M. 
Centralized, autocratic government in the hands of experts works best.
   Here's how you can "Stand up & Step Up":

1. Today, Wednesday August 1, is support Chick-Fil-A day. Here's your chance to stand up for free speech, religious freedom and traditional marriage. It is important politicians, media, and gay advocates not be allowed to bully and discriminate against individuals because of their viewpoint. Go to the business and purchase something big or small, but at the very least, stop in and say "Thank you."
2. Efforts to define marriage as between one man and one woman will be on the ballot in four U.S. states this November. The opposition is donating enormous amounts of money to defeat initiatives that support traditional marriage. Just last week, the CEO of Amazon donated $2.5 million in support of same-sex marriage. Even if you don't live in Washington, Maine, Minnesota, or Maryland, you can donate time or money to efforts to protect marriage. Go here: WashingtonMinnesota,Maryland, and Maine.
3. The UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD) is a huge threat to national sovereignty and negatively impacts parental rights. The CPRD is possibly going to a U.S. Senate vote this week. You can read more about it here. Let your Senator hear your voice.
4. Those of you who are citizens of Spain, your new leadership have vowed to undo some of the liberal abortion laws that were put in place by Zapatero in 2009. Please contact the People's Party leaders and encourage them to put in place laws that once again protect unborn children. There has been a lot of media attention given to these proposals and you need to add your voice.

Spotlight
Tom Christensen, former CEO of United Families, is a successful father, attorney, and politician. He has written extensively on the natural family and has addressed UN delegations in behalf of UFI in Istanbul, New York, Nairobi, the Hague, Lisbon and Geneva.

UFI article on abortion policies

UFI Supports Human Life in the Face of Wealthy, Powerful
Opposition

August 28 , 2007

In our support of human life, we often feel as if we are David going up against not one Goliath, but many powerful anti-life giants. Huge well-funded organizations with close ties to the United Nations are flexing their might in attempting to spread abortion rights to every region of the world. In comparison, our pro-life coalition is the tiny mouse that roared.We can fight them and we have gained some victories, but our opponents are growing in power and they never relent. Among the organizations opposing life are the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), Amnesty International, the committee of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), international abortion providers and others.
The UNFPA is an organization dedicated to worldwide legalization of abortion. To make it sound more palatable to people, the organization refers to abortion as "reproductive health services." Under the guises of “sustainable development,” “human rights” and “gender equality,” UNFPA aims “to make universal access to reproductive health by 2015 a reality.”
UNFPA has issued a proposal for a four-year, $224 million advocacy strategy aimed at raising awareness of reproductive rights. The proposal calls for a media saturation play to promote “the right to reproductive health applies to all people at all times” and to increase the “demand for sexual and reproductive health services and reproductive rights” around the world by permeating all areas of society.
UNFPA proposes to spend:
  • $90 for a global program,
  • $47 million in Africa,
  • $33 million in Asia and the Pacific,
  • $26 million in Latin America and the Caribbean and
  • $14 million each for regional programs in Arab nations, Eastern Europe and Central Asia.  The UNFPA uses money to entice poverty-stricken nations to violate their own values.
Furthermore, the UNFPA is targeting high fertility rates in African nations with a call for condom use among children.
Efforts to legalize abortion in Latin American nations are particularly troublesome, if not downright disrespectful to the nations with pro-life language written into their national constitutions. Steve Mosher, of the Population Research Institute, said pro-life Latin Americans face a coalition of foreign-funded radical feminists, family planning groups, radical population controllers and others dedicated to forcing abortion, sterilization and contraception upon their countries. Among the pro-life nations under assault are Peru and the Dominican Republic. The City Council of Mexico City earlier this year legalized abortion in that city.
Among the many organizations pouring money into efforts to legalize abortion in Latin America are the Ford Foundation, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, UNFPA, Planned Parenthood International's Latin-American branch, Flora Tristan, the Latin American Center for Sexuality and Human Rights and others.
This summer, the committee governing CEDAW chastised Honduras for its pro-life laws, labeling it as “crime.” In addition, the CEDAW committee pressured Kenya, Belize, Liechtenstein and Brazil to liberalize their abortion laws. CEDAW language does not include abortion, but the committee repeatedly tries to force it upon the nations that ratified the treaty. The committee plans to move its 2008 meetings to Geneva, Switzerland in a move seen by some as an attempt to make it more difficult for our coalition to monitor proceedings.
Recently, Amnesty International made known its intentions to promote worldwide access to abortion. Its policy, adopted in April, aims to decriminalize “abortion to ensure women have access to health care when complications arise from abortion and to defend women's access to abortion -- within reasonable gestational limits -- when their health or life are in danger.”
At its International Council Meeting held in Mexico two weeks ago, Amnesty International “committed the organization to strengthening its work on the prevention of unwanted pregnancies and other factors contributing to women's recourse to abortion and overwhelmingly affirmed the organization's policy on selected aspects of abortion.” More than 400 Amnesty International representatives from more than 75 countries attended the meeting and affirmed Amnesty International's goals.
Defending the sanctity of life is one of our greatest passions. As you can see, we are up against wealthy and powerful forces.
We are thankful for each of our supporters; we need your continued help as we work to counter those organizations bent on destroying human life. Will you please take a moment today to introduce UFI to someone who supports life, but who doesn't yet know about our work in defending life?

United Families International Website
http://unitedfamilies.org/default.asp?contentID=164

Mother Teresa

 I feel that the greatest destroyer of peace today is abortion, because it is a war against the child - a direct killing of the innocent child - murder by the mother herself. And if we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another...  Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching the people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want." (Mother Teresa, National Prayer Breakfast 1994)

Family Advocacy

Family Advocacy Class

I am in my second to last semester at Brigham Young University Idaho, and this blog was originally created for my family relations class last spring semesters. I am continuing this blog for my family advocacy class I am taking during this fall semester. Part of the requirements for this class have been to write a set of papers on a certain topic. I chose abortion and have enjoyed learning more about the controversial subject. Here on this blog, I will continue posting articles, updates, videos regarding the family and the sacredness of life. Thx so much for your feedback and support!

-Camette

Here is an article about an abortion being prevented because of a pastor taking action and finding an adopted family for the baby.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865583124/Virginia-pastors-Facebook-post-prevents-abortion-for-unborn-baby-with-Down-syndrome.html

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

United Families International

United Families International is a great non profit organization that is heavily involved with advocating for families. Below is an article written by their past president Carol Soelberg, quoting Jenny Cooper.
http://unitedfamilies.org/default.asp?contentID=623

Following is another article written by Carol Soelberg, quoting Melissa Anderson about promoting pro-life.
http://unitedfamilies.org/default.asp?contentID=558

This article describes how abortion affects women's health-  United Families International's Latest Publication Casts Doubt on Abortion Industry. 
http://unitedfamilies.org/default.asp?contentID=104

Take Action:
What can we do to advocate for families? I personally began by educating myself on the subject through my classes at BYUI, and by reading different articles that pertain to this topic. United Families International is a great resource, and they have many more articles with a wide range of different topics to choose from. I have found that talking with friends and family about this is also a great way to start in making a difference and in educating others. Social media is a helpful tool in spreading the word and keeping updated on information and changes that are happening. Thank you for reading this blog, keeping yourself well informed, for educating yourself and others, and for wanting to make a difference.

-Camette Carpenter

Monday, December 9, 2013

October Baby

The reason I have chosen to post video clips from the movie October Baby on my blog, is because it can describe to you more than I can, the reality of the pain, sorrow, confusion, healing, and forgiveness that is connected to abortions. I personally don't have much experience with abortion. I saw this movie for the first time one year ago, and watched it again a few months ago. I was influenced by it and hope you will also. My passion for this topic began a few years ago with different experiences leading to certain outcomes, and I decided I wanted to educate myself more on the subject and educate others about it. I feel the prophets always can explain things better than I can, so here is an article about abortion by Elder Nelson. Enjoy!

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2008/10/abortion-an-assault-on-the-defenseless

October Baby Scene: Choose Forgiveness

October Baby Stories 01: "Shari"

All She Had Scene from October Baby Movie (2011) | MOVIECLIPS

All She Had Scene from October Baby Movie (2011) | MOVIECLIPS

Family Advocacy Class

I am in my second to last semester at Brigham Young University Idaho, and this blog was originally created for my family relations class last spring semesters. I am continuing this blog for my family advocacy class I am taking during this fall semester. Part of the requirements for this class have been to write a set of papers on a certain topic. I chose abortion and have enjoyed learning more about the controversial subject. Here on this blog, I will continue posting articles, updates, videos regarding the family and the sacredness of life. Thx so much for your feedback and support!

-Camette

Here is an article about an abortion being prevented because of a pastor taking action and finding an adopted family for the baby.
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865583124/Virginia-pastors-Facebook-post-prevents-abortion-for-unborn-baby-with-Down-syndrome.html


This Is What Abortion Looks Like … When It Doesn’t Work. You’re Not Gonna Believe This. – FaithIt.com

This Is What Abortion Looks Like … When It Doesn’t Work. You’re Not Gonna Believe This. – FaithIt.com

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Blended Families

This week in my family relations class, the topic was divorce and remarriage. We discussed in length about blended families. I am indirectly affected by a blended family. My dad was 40 years old with seven children, when he and my mom were married. At the time, she was 26 years old, and only eight years older than her oldest step twin daughters. She became a grandma when she became a mother!
She and my dad had three children together. I am the youngest child, ten in total. However, I am seven years younger than my closest sibling, so my siblings are quite older than I am. My oldest twin sisters are 28 years older than me. Five of my siblings are old enough to be my parents. When I was born, I was already an aunt. I became a great-aunt when I turned 16. I have nieces and nephews who are younger than me that are starting their families before I do. It’s an interesting family to be apart of! It’s been an adjustment getting used to the different dynamics of our family.

Here are some suggestions for blended families-
Step-parent: Take on the role of an engaged aunt/uncle
Parent- Handle all of the heavy discipline
Discuss the roles of each parent behind closed doors

My teacher has worked with many families, including his own with that process and seen great results. From my experience, I can understand how it would great benefit all involved to implement those guidelines.

This is my last blog post for this class. Thank you to all of my readers for your support and comments! I greatly enjoyed having this blog. I also look forward to continuing it! 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Intimacy

The most sacred privilege give to us by God is having the ability to bring children into this world. We are expected to keep it sacred in our marriages, and also in our teachings to our children.

Here are some guidelines in having fidelity in your marriage-
·         Never be alone with the opposite sex
·         Be fiercely loyal
·         Have clear boundaries
·         The most important person is your spouse
·         Put your spouse first
·         Leave your parents and cleave unto your spouse
·         Give service to the opposite sex with your spouse
·         Make sure that your friends support your marriage
·         Love your spouse more than your children
·         Be unified and equal with your spouse in all things
·         Keep your covenants
·         Cleave unto your spouse and no one/nothing else

Here are some guidelines for parents in teaching your children the sacredness of intimacy-
·         The most important source of knowledge about sex is you 
·         Teach them boundaries for dating
·         Prepare your daughters for dating by having daddy-daughter dates
·         Have open communication with your children, so they feel safe and comfortable coming to you with their curiosities and questions
·         The age of when you start talking to your child about intimacy depends on the child and when they are ready
·         Teach them about modesty by your example
·         Teach them the importance of bridling their passions, have self-control and self-discipline
·         View clean and uplifting media
·         Teach them the sacredness of their bodies, compare it to the Temple
·         Line up your behavior with how you want them to become
·         Teach them the purpose that intimacy serves
·         Have appropriate affection with your spouse in front of your children

Leadership Meetings

In leadership meetings, it’s important for everyone in the group to be equal and all to be heard. Here are some guidelines for that to be accomplished-
1.      Focus on the fundamentals
-          The doctrine needs to remain pure
2.      Focus on the people
-          Review the needs of the members
-          Make sure everything said is in strict confidence
3.      Promote free and open expression
-          Everyone’s opinions should be valued
-          Leaders should listen as much as they speak
4.      Participation is a privilege
-          Follow the Lord’s will
-          Responsibility comes with leading
-          Advocate the position I believe is to be right
5.      Lead with love

D&C 121:41-42 Persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, love unfeigned, kindness, pure knowledge 

Family Council

The family council method is given to families for their success and growth. It is patterned after the weekly meetings that the apostles have. Elder Ballard has great information about the subject through his books and conference talks. Here are the guidelines for the family council-
  1.  Meet in a sacred place (home)
  2.  Set aside a regular time each week
  3.   Express love and appreciation
  4.   Open with prayer, seeking to know God’s will
  5.    Discuss topics until everyone comes to an agreement, regarding what the Lord would have happen
  6.  Close with prayer, seeking to follow through with God’s will and express gratitude
  7.  Have refreshments
My teacher explained to us that physical contact helps while having family council. When he and his wife have family council, they sit on their bed, and he massages her feet. That provides a connection between them while they discuss important matters.

I first learned about the council method last fall semester in one of my family classes at BYUI. Soon after we discussed it in class, I was having a difficult time with a roommate. I taught her the council method, we were able to implement it in our friendship, and it improved our relationship greatly and now we are close friends. It softens hearts, and it changes perspectives. I recommend this to everyone, especially those wanting to improve their relationships. 

Active Parenting

          This past week in my family relations class, our teacher had us watch the video series Active Parenting of Teens, before class. Here is the link to the 4 videos:
 http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=12&EndCue=1997&VideoName=1560_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=0&EndCue=1643&VideoName=1561_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=6&EndCue=1754&VideoName=1562_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=12&EndCue=2096&VideoName=1563_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

Each section is half an hour long, and I definitely recommend it to everyone. It’s not just for parents with teens, but also a great tool to strengthen relationships. The video teaches that we cannot not communicate. Even when we are speaking, we are still communicating. Through our body language, and actions. Here are some guidelines of active communicating-
1. Listen Actively
 2. Respond to feelings
3. Look for alternatives/evaluate consequences
4. Offer Encouragement
5. Follow up later

 Here are some ways to work through problems-
1. Use I statements
2. Explain how you feel about the problem
3. Explain why you have those feelings
4. Explain your desires/expectations
5. Give a firm reminder- short, simple, be respectful

 We as human beings all have needs. It’s important for those needs to be met, for us to have healthy emotional lives. Here is an example of some of those needs-
1. Power
2. Contact
3. Belonging
4. Protection

 “You can never get enough of what you don’t need, because what you don’t need cannot satisfy you.”
 –John H Groberg

 How we discourage-
1. Expect too little
2. Focus on mistakes
3. Expect too much
4. Overprotect/pamper/enable

 How we encourage-
1. Show confidence
2. Build on strengths
3. Learn to value
 4. Stimulate independence

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

My heroes!


This Father's day, I thought a lot about the men in my life who are a light for me to follow. They are worthy priesthood holders who not only talk the talk, but walk the walk as well. When they are called upon to give someone a priesthood blessing, they are worthy and ready to minister in Christ's name, to provide blessings, comfort, guidance, and counsel. These men are my heroes. They give everything to their families and to the Lord. They are men of God. I can see it and I can feel it.
They are imperfect, however they shine with the light of Christ. They are self-less and are aware of the needs of those around them. They sacrifice their time and energy for other people. They know the importance of families, and give their all to their wives and children. They are self-sufficient and provide not only for their families, but assist those in need.
They are willing to stay up late to work on your car, when they have work early the next morning and to help you with homework when they have homework themselves. They have very difficult challenges, yet they push through them. They never let a trial break them. They are trustworthy and respectful. You can sense they care about you, and they have your back. They never raise their voice, and they are always in control of their emotions and actions.
They are always there for you, even when they are exhausted and have no energy left. Whenever you are down or struggling, they do everything they can to make you laugh and to put a smile on your face, no matter how long it takes. They find great amusement in teasing you, and bring joy into your life. Their sense of calm and peace gives you reassurance that everything is going to be alright and you can get through anything.
Their firm foundations protect you, and provides safety and relief from the storms of life. They are humble in their service, and also when they need assistance. They know what is truly important and are always willing to share their wisdom and experiences. They uplift those around them and their sense of humors lightens your burdens. They are always there when you just need someone to talk to, and they give the best advice!
Most importantly, they exemplify the Savior Jesus Christ. Our earthly fathers provided the way for us to receive bodies, however our Heavenly Father gave us life. My Father in heaven is everything to me. He is my light, my hope, my faith, my strength, my courage, my foundation, my pillar, and my comfort. He is my everything!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Marriage is not natural, it's divine!

Marriage is not natural, it is divine. The divine means to put off the natural man, and to step beyond what is natural. The average couples marriage’s satisfaction decreases when they begin having children. Below are suggestions of what couples can do to increase, their level of satisfaction in their marriage, when their children begin arriving.

Wise young parents anticipate the additional work-load and decreased time alone. They plan and implement means of sharing the work and pleasure of early parenting:

-It’s important that the father is involved in the pre-natal checkups.
- Engage the father in the kicks and other pre-natal bonding events.
-Assure that the father takes precedence over others during the birth.
- Involve the husband in what the wife is experiencing.
- Share tender moments with your child together.
- Be very careful to validate your partner, expressing love and appreciation for what she/he is experiencing.
- Look for opportunities to lighten the other’s load.
- Though the baby’s needs and deserves constant care, don’t forget that your partner helped to bring him/her into the world.
-Get proper nutrition, rest and other needs met as well.
- Take turns wherever possible, so each is cared for.
- Watch for indications of medical needs.
- Develop and utilize a process for asking for help from one another.
- Express love/appreciation frequently
- Plan carefully for the changes for each of you.
- Don’t forget about your spouse’s needs.
-Look for opportunities to boost each other.
-Take turns with both the fun and not so fun tasks.

The husband and wife’s relationship is most important. The degree of success of parenthood depends on the success of the marriage.

Love is a commitment to the well-being and happiness of another person. 

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Oh the joys of dating!

This week in my family relations class, the topic was dating. Being at BYUI, it is discussed a lot, and sometimes feels monotonous. However, my teacher discussed things that were inspirational and very thought provoking. I would like to share some insights of my own with you, and hopefully you will be enlightened on the subject.
In Elder Oaks talk about dating, he gave three P’s regarding dating- planned, paired off, and paid for.  In the Family Proclamation to the World, it explains that the man’s responsibilities are to preside, protect, and provide. My teacher taught us how they correlate with each other:  
·         Planned-Preside
·         Paired Off-Protect
·         Paid for-Provide
I really love this concept, because it showed me how much dating really does prepare young men for marriage. In the Family Proclamation to the world, it teaches that women are to be nurturers in the home. Dating is also a place where young women can be nurturing in preparation for marriage.
In the book, “How to avoid falling in love with a jerk”, by John Van Epp, he describes the five steps to attachment:
1.      Know
2.      Trust
3.      Rely
4.      Commit
5.      Touch
In my experiences, relationships fail when the first three steps are missed, and couples go straight to the fourth and fifth step, without really taking the time to get to know, trust, and rely on each other.
The “know-quo” includes the 3 T’s during the dating process:
1.      Talk- Mutual self-disclosure
2.      Time-It takes a minimum of 3 months to begin to know someone
3.      Togetherness- Engage in wide range of activities
I have seen too many couples jump into engagement, without taking the time in getting to know the other person. There’s nothing wrong in knowing the person you will be with for the rest of your life, for at least one year, before you commit your whole self to them. Finding someone to marry is a process, and it takes time. I have personally set a goal of the timing I desire to have in my dating:
·         Friendship- 3 months
·         Date- 3 months
·         Courtship- 6 months
·         Engagement- 2 months
Grand Total=14 months