Active Parenting

          This past week in my family relations class, our teacher had us watch the video series Active Parenting of Teens, before class. Here is the link to the 4 videos:
 http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=12&EndCue=1997&VideoName=1560_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=0&EndCue=1643&VideoName=1561_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=6&EndCue=1754&VideoName=1562_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

http://stream.byui.edu/VideoPlayer/BYUIplayer.htmlStartCue=12&EndCue=2096&VideoName=1563_dvd&VideoType=libraryvideos

Each section is half an hour long, and I definitely recommend it to everyone. It’s not just for parents with teens, but also a great tool to strengthen relationships. The video teaches that we cannot not communicate. Even when we are speaking, we are still communicating. Through our body language, and actions. Here are some guidelines of active communicating-
1. Listen Actively
 2. Respond to feelings
3. Look for alternatives/evaluate consequences
4. Offer Encouragement
5. Follow up later

 Here are some ways to work through problems-
1. Use I statements
2. Explain how you feel about the problem
3. Explain why you have those feelings
4. Explain your desires/expectations
5. Give a firm reminder- short, simple, be respectful

 We as human beings all have needs. It’s important for those needs to be met, for us to have healthy emotional lives. Here is an example of some of those needs-
1. Power
2. Contact
3. Belonging
4. Protection

 “You can never get enough of what you don’t need, because what you don’t need cannot satisfy you.”
 –John H Groberg

 How we discourage-
1. Expect too little
2. Focus on mistakes
3. Expect too much
4. Overprotect/pamper/enable

 How we encourage-
1. Show confidence
2. Build on strengths
3. Learn to value
 4. Stimulate independence